Sushi

 We'll went over the budget tonight and took the family out to a Japanese steak house. Got my hunnie to taste some sushi for the first time. I think that he didn't want to admit it wasn't that bad. I am sure that there is better after all were from a smaller town. To cute I feed my baby some fryed rice tonight, shes' probably had more tastes from different foods' than most babies. A little Chinese, Mexican and tonight Japanese. You have to open up their food obtions, and never say "thats gross" let them descide what they think of a certain food. I had tuna and red snapper not bad! Try it!
  Gave me an excuse to teach how to say Thank You and Your Welcome don't ask me how to spell it I have a hard enough time spelling english. Sometimes I feel like the abscent minded professor. I know it but it just didn't always come out. Anyways here you go English/ sorta to Japanese,, I think this is how it sounds anyways "Ariegottoe gunzalie mas" Thank You" I promise that is not how you spell it but thats how you say it. In a werid American way, Lol! Tomorrow, work work work I want to cry why can't I just win the lottery, oh thats right I have to play it first! Man alive people are crazy some of the things that go on around me blow my mind.....
   Sometimes are you just speechless yeah I feel that way on a day to day basis. You know how they say sex, drugs and rocknroll. No, its drugs, sorryness"if you can use that as a word",and bullshit! This whole drug thing you hear about around here, I guess its everywhere but come on people some of the stuff is just stupid! You going to put something into your body that people use rat posion in O.K. come on!"STUPID" I am sorry but thats all you hear about anymore Meth labs even on the news just damn crazy!
You know what people needs Hobbies, a Job, Something to keep their minds off this shit! Pardon my french, I'll give myself a censor "maynot be great for some audiences, will sometimes swear, "Sorry"!
Anyways on that note got to get some sleep! Hope to dream of Johnny Depp tonight. What! $1,000 dollars to park a car in New York! Thats crazy, watching the late night with David L.. He can be so funny! We'll nite all!

Out tonight!

 I guess my family will be going out to dinner tonight. I don't feel like cooking and think Chinese is on the menu. I love it! Trying to get everyone ready is the hardest part of it. Anyways I've been taking online coarses for my job, it sucks kind of. I know it sounds bad but got to go back to work tomorrow and I dread it. I should be happy to have a job but sometimes I wish I could stay at home with my children to mold them more. I feel like I am missing out on so much. The one thing you can never get back is the time you spend with them. Its sort of sad, here today gone tomorrow. We'll my relationship has been going a little better in the last couple of days. However, I feel like it needs alot of work and sometimes wonder what I am doing in it besides the kids. I hope that I can make a change for the good!
I wish that everything in the next couple of days goes good keep your fingers crossed.
 We'll out of here Iam hungrey!

oh!

 We'll anyways Iam so tired and I have so much to say I worked 64hrs. this weekend. Hopeing to get on the move with my writing it frees me. Its like venting I need to breath from the crying baby girl, drama and uncertainy of my life.... Seriously need a vacation or a change so I can get my thoughts together. Need to know how to keep it together at this point, anyone got ideals? On top of that this getting your life together really is hard sometimes. Add a bunch of fake people with that is drama. Sometimes I'd like to go and hide!

I don't know!

 Tonight I had a really bad fight with someone that I love and suppost to love me..... What do you do when you talk but no one listens to anything you have to say? I dont know anymore! I feel alone sometimes when someone is in the same house with me. I dont know I guess it could be worse, I would say think really hard before you jump into relationship,,,but does anyone ever really think about that. No, I dont think so. All I do know is relationships take WORK its not easy. Something just doesn't feel right at all! We'll thats all I have to say about that. Fighting, makes me tired I think I'll call it a night!

BLAH!

 What can I say I am so tired that I havent got the energy to say much and to be honest I maybe a bit boring tonight. I haven't wrote anything in forever so much for devotion..... Anyways my job is killing me I just keep thinking 1 more year and I am sooooo out of here. Not only did I not get the job I had worked my butt off for "GET THIS", I get asked monday night to work it for the other person haha! Your kidding right thats what I was thinking! Anyways I ask what am I doing there? BEING USED THANKS TO THE ON GOING ECONMY!LOVELY! But enough said about that I am sick of that I have to self motivate my self to go! Hopefully, the new house want let me become so depressed with more room I love that! I can fix it how I like it! Man I like that !!!! button tonight can't tell you why!!!
 So anyways it is so freaking cold tonight I can't wait to lay down and cuddle under my covers go to sleep.... We paid a small deposit tonight for a house, and went to Mr. Ghattis to eat.
   I hope that we're doing the right thing I wanted something more out into the country. Got to do what you can afford sometimes not what you like. But for the most part its what we need four bedrooms and one bath. The one bath I hope can be changed to two. Just cause its big doesn't mean its new. I have some work ahead of me for sure. But I am not afraid of work thats what you have to do if you want to get somewhere in this life.....
   If your waiting on someone to give you something your probably going to wait a long time! We'll I need some shut eye, going to finsih my show and hit the sack!

Cant Sleep!

 Can't sleep then again how could I when I get woke up in the middle of the night; by someone barking orders and plan out bitching when they don't even have the right to. I can't believe this I am pissed they best check their self or their going to get check mated! I've bought had all the bullshit someone can take. If anything gets done around here I do it. I am the only one raises a hand and on top of that I work go pay the bills, run around and get everything done that needs to be done. Never getting any help talk about kicking you when your down. But I am no door mat for someone to wipe their feet on. Its seems no matter what I do I can't get three steps ahead without being knocked five steps back. There has to be a better way than this! Yes, I have a few times went on strike leave for three days and work 64hrs.,come home and it looks like a bomb went off in my house. Dishes to the top of the sink come on how hard is it to wash a cup and some plates. It's not even sticky, greezy cookers. I am VENTING!
 What a start of a New Year, and I was at work when the ball dropped I should have been with my family. I guess I was doing something constructive anyways. You got to count your blessings I guess, even thought I never seem to do whats right...... But Iam tired of trying to peace people you just can't. We'll folks going to try and get some sleep it want be long before I have to get up.......Sure going to be tired in the morning!

Wow!

 Wow, I cant believe that I haven't wrote anything in this long. Whats' new in my life? Where can I begin we'll that job that I worked my ass off,"you know how we've been waiting for this job to come open for 6 months, YOU DIDN'T GET IT BUT YOU INTERVIEWED REALLY WE'LL" quote unquote. I found out the sweet hard facts and the truth you can work your ass off and deserve a job, but not get it! Why? We'll even in work place you have your poltics..... And sometimes people pull weight, but this doesn't mean its right and I believe in Karma! So I know I did the best over and beyond duty.  Anyways I think I was made for something else. Just going to try to figure out what to do I have ideals I just got to work on them!
 Next, well have you ever been with someone and it just didn't feel right anymore especially when you try and try then they just over look everything you have to say! I am there right now, but how do you move on? Not that I don't love them just I feel like singing Tina Turners' "Whats love got to do with it"! You love someone but let me just tell you there is so much more to it then that. I think that it would be better to be a friend and know someone first.That would be best! But that's not how it works I am  a walking testament to this.
 Life is a very strange thing and everyone has their ups and downs so don't think that your in a boat by yourself we all have diffcultlies. I need a vacation and a foot rub! On top of that I had $160.00 dollars go missing out of my house, I have done winter cleaning still haven't found it. It sure didn't grow legs and walk out! Still working on buying a house well see looking forward on starting a new year! Until next time